BFFN -- Best Friends For Now

Rugby is an insane sport. last night at the Olympic Stadium, eleven of my comrades and i witnessed a battle between The New South Wales Blues and The Queensland Reds. I really had a hell of a good time dealing with all the rowdy action up in the nose-bleeds. Rugby is the most intense and quickest fat kid fight you can watch outside of the lunchroom. But of course, as Americans, we stuck out like a boner in spandex pants. 

Our offenses:

1. American women cheering. the women in australia don't cheer like the women in america. there are no loud high pitched woos that emit from the aussie women at anytime during the match. so as you can imagine, the bellows of shrieking from our section caught come attention.

2. leaving your seat at all during game play. sure we might have gotten up for 3 to 8 beer runs during the game, but who would have ever thought that would be offensive? especially at a game that almost requires you to be wasted. i thought they were going to breathalyze us at the gate to make sure we were already into the wind. 

3. accidentally cheering for the wrong team. this one is obvious.

4. chanting U-S-A

So the next time you find yourself at one of the largest rugby matches of the year in a country other than the US; just avoid doing anything on this list. our loss is your gain.

So, now that i have earned my PH.D. in rugby, people now often ask me " yo v-club, what sport in the states would you compare rugby to ?" 

Glad you asked.  My first answer would have to be "Rugby". "Rugby" is very similar to rugby, only it has quotation marks and a capital R. My second answer would have be a game we like to call "Colonels Crossing". As you all know, Colonels Crossing is where you go to your local sporting goods store (KFC), and get a bucket of Original Recipe®. 

Now that you have the ball in hand, you need to run across the nearest area with the densest population of African-Americans (the defense). The point of the game is to get back to the safety of your dinner table (end zone) before your life and/or bucket of Original Recipe® is taken from you. At this point you will be awarded 6 points to you cholesterol level. Keep in mind this game is highly competitive and very dangerous. The defense is always willing to do whatever it takes to get their hands on that bucket... fo' free! 

I did learn one thing about australian culture last night; they live by one simple code, which can best be depicted here: Beer, sex, rugby. in that order. oi oi oi.