and then there were two

so it has been quite a while since we have spoke. about a week to be exact. work really has been wuite busy and i havent really found the time to sit back and collect my thoughts on this here blog. so hopefully you all havent forgot bout our precious database of virgil's knowledge. pah! who am i kidding i know every single one of you checks everyday for updates. i have you in my trap.

well, i have officially made it to the point in my time here where nothing i really do or see is new. repetition has been achieved. however, it doesnt always mean that it is mundane, or terrible to exist within the bounds of repetition. i am still enjoying every breath of australian air, every step on australian soil, and i still despise the incompetent asian of australia. there are two solid weeks left now here. one week left of work, and another week left of play. Seven of my friends and i will be making an excursion up to byron bay where we will relax and reflect on our conquering of oz. finally... some summer time on the beach with no worries of work.

I always get this pit in my stomach when i leave new places and people. it is always the people more than the places that get to me when i am staring down the barrel of the gun for departure. The people i have met on this trip are nothing short of incredible, and i feel like i have known them my entire life. We have two more weeks to rock out as hard or harder than we have for the last six. cheers to us.

and to all... this montage has brought me some serious inspiration to travel more with my camera:

classic

this is what we spend all of our time making here at work:

keep your hands off my dip bitch

taco night was nothing short of epic. i made a fantastic multi-layer dip that really had the crowd going. since they dont have refried beans, an essential ingredient to any dip, i had to improvise. first i started with 500g of well spiced certified australian angus beef. then we topped it with barbeque baked beans, salsa, olives, and 500g of mozzarella. boom! threw that bitch in the oven for about five minutes till the cheese was brown along the edge, then dropped off a dollop of sour cream and serve. excelente! Plus i just got word that one of the people has the shits today because of it.

"dude, your dip gave me the worst shits"

Thats how you know its good.


for the list:

-"i was taking a dump on the potty"
-"best fucking night of my life"
-"shit happens when you party naked"
-"UofD, NBD"
-mario kart
-free pizza from the program advisors

Butt-Sausage

Tonight im making tacos because i havent had one in a long time, and then probably getting thai food on top of that... so suck it world!


so, by popular demand, people want to know what i am actually doing over here instead of making social commentary, talking to women, spending money, and partying. well to put it as bluntly as possible: i have a job.

I am doing editing and audio work at:

Pinstripe Media
3/20 Cliff st.
Milsons Point NSW 2061

Im giving out the address just incase anyone wants to meet me for lunch at the Delicatessen just under the train station...
I have been doing a lot of work for the Yahoo financial website. we go out and film all these bigwig CEOs and CFOs giving advice about how to use money to benefit yourself and your small business. I am also working with David Koch, who is basically the Australian Matt Lauer. Its a really awesome experience and takes up my 9 - 5 very effectively. there are alot of programs here at the production house that i would not really have the chance to use so extensively anywhere else, so all of this experience is priceless. This place is great because i get treated like an employee rather than an intern. sweet. we also have a ping pong table to let off steam on. Also, unlike in america, many businesses have drinks on friday starting in the mid afternoon.

so thats that.

The following list are my trip favorites for my memory to return to them later:

-Annie ripping out the fridge
-Jeff having to get pushed home in Ryan's wheelchair
-GB, Waterfall
-High Thai Tuesdays
-Lowenbrau
-shotguns
-Toohys 30 Rack
-WYD
-Asians
-Man-down
-Saturday
-People Curious as to what happened to them last night
-poeple that are eighteen (connor)
-Lord Nelsons
-going to buy a tube and funnel and just returning with sunglasses
-gellato
-learning peoples handshakes
-wine+Brad
-aqua golf
- 22 hour days, every weekend
-actually using my time
-Moira's stories
-4:30 sunsets
-the walk home
-aboriginals
-Chelsea's stories
-roast beef/pastrami sandwich + Chips
-Hungary Jacks
- Oporto
-205/ 7th floor
-the right half
-the other half
-25 people in my room at 3am
-being VIP
-men's gallery
-wednesday night scruffy's
-noise violations while listening to death cab
-balcony
-ping-pong
-beer-pong
-union breaks with moira and sam
-the fucked-up shit they put on packs of cigarettes
-hot women - professionals
-wombats
-my apartment shower
-massive bed
-Bill
-telling bad jokes
-facebook
-setting up and taking down equipment
-foreign pool
- eye contact
-toy helicopters
-feeling like i have known the friends i have made here forever because of this list.
-not forgetting.

fart. fart. poop. poop. fart.

The pope touched me down under.

So world youth day has come to a close and all the crazy people are finally leaving. it has been such a riot having them all here. i will never forget the hasslings, both day and night. like, all the youthers trying to give us high fives and us giving them the old psych! or the time when they'd force us off the street because of their sheer numbers. i will miss them all greatly now they have all returned back to their corners of the world so they can return to sniffing the glue in the spines of their bibles.

This was a pretty fantastic weekend to end week-five. it was a rather long weekend since it seemed to have started on wednesday with the opening of dark knight and then ended last night with a second screening of dark knight. That movie is so fucking amazing on an IMAX screen, and what's even better is that this screen is the largest in the world, so what we saw was absolutely jaw-dropping. good thing we wore diapers.

Now these transweekend movie experiences were just the bread of this meaty sandwich. Friday most of us took the day off so we could go do whatever for the day, so we got up, had breakfast and walked through the streets since they were closed for WYD. That night was really interesting...but ill leave that to memory.

Saturday we saw another rugby game and then got to party with the players there after. real nice guys. On our way between the game to the venue, my good boy ryan thought it would be cool to hit up the local skate park in his wheelchair. he wiped out after dropping in on a ramp. so let me paint this picture for you... we are all standing around the skatepark as ryan does his trick and falls. we all start laughing as this group of children and their mom (mum) approches...

kids: "why are you guys laughing?"

mom: "this is terrible"

me: "its cool, we are american"

and thats how that situation was settled. as for the loves in my life...oporto is the best chicken ever, and the strip roll meal is the greatest thing you can do for yourself, even if it is three separate times in a 6 hour period.

VIDEO!!!

Alrighty, here is the teaser for my video compilation of the summer. This segment only includes footage from the weekend we went to the Blue Mountains and the Featherdale Wildlife Park.



YouTube quality does no justice to the true HD experience it will be in the end. Enjoy!

the celebration to end all celebrations

Despite the lameness of this week, there is a lot of funny shit that has gone on whether its on purpose or on accident due to sheer stupidity. When people say "pictures are worth a thousand words"... they meant this picture:

Join The Dark Side,
Holy shit, that is side splitting.

Here are some of my favorite stupid things i have heard or been told in the last two days:

1) "KFC is so inhumane, let's go to McDonalds."

2) (in a deep metal singers voice) "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus"

3) some asshole had the balls to put his hand on my shoulder, look me in the eye and say, "Be straight." you have go to be fucking kidding me

4)"let's go to world youth day"

wow

however, there was this one girl who approched me on the walk home yesterday and asked if she could have a hug. This request was fair, and completely made my day. Thank you, small Irish woman, wherever you are.


Toknight is Dark Knight at the largest IMAX in the world. Chicago is the true Gotham City.

so what if i go to hell... at least all of my friends will be there.

Now is the time where World Youth Day has begun in sydney, and it's fucking horrible. Here we have a half a million extra bodies (that sydney doesnt have room for) piling in to celebrate the world's youth. Sure, thats a great idea, lets do it for the kids. but wait, nope, this event is highly religious, and what better way to fuck a kid up than putting them under the influence of a following gone completely wrong: Catholicism. Honestly, if jesus were here today and saw what his following had become, i am almost positive he would be completely disappointed, upset, and probably even a little creeped out. I mean look, we have a hippy dude who cruised the lands in his day teaching people how to live a moral and wholesome lives. do you think he would be impressed that wars are fought over him? Do you think he would be happy to know that an event intended to celebrate the youth of the world is brought to us by a bunch of pedophiles that have been sworn into a life to preach to word of god? how disappointing. These priests get caught left and right doing unspeakable things to little boys. Jesus ain't down with that. For example lets look into the theme of this years world youth day '08:

You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you; and you will be my witnesses.

that sounds like porn.

"World Youth Day is being held in Sydney Australia from the 15th to the 20th of July 2008. It is a religious event that values faith over reason, mythology over fact, and dogma over science. Targeted as it is to 'youth', this makes it especially counterproductive to the advancement of humanity."

religion is so cultist and iffy. we should all try believing in ourselves and each other for once... because obviously a life of too much submersion into god and Christianity can lead to a world without reason and the uncontrollable desire for boys under 10 years old.



anyhoo, what really matters is the women in sydney are still great....

Hollar for a dollar

There is nothing sweeter to me in the world than telling a good story. And on that same note, nothing is better than getting hooked up with free drinks because you tell a good story. Usually we'll get suited up and tell the people at the local watering holes that we are young american investors. with a few convincing statements you're all set. this can be achieved in a few easy steps: just grab a forbes, a suit (no tie), and prepare to live a life of someone you're not and probably never will be. score!

Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes...

Hola amigos!

so its been a few days since we've chatted it up

 down here in on the blog. Alot of good times

 have come my way here in Oz as we celebrated the fourth of july, went to hunter valley, and blew a bunch of cash at the casino. 

So the fourth was good even though it was the only day we have had so far where the rain was truly crippling. We all wanted to go do the usual american routine for the holiday, you know 

like drink/chug budweiser, smoke marlboro reds, butcher a cow and then buy the meat for our burgers somewhere else... typical american shit. The rains fucked it up though. so, some of the

 group resorted to pan frying burgers and having am picnic in the room, but i just went to McDonalds. it seemed pretty american at the time. I had the McAfrica Burger.  yum. I really wanted to play a game of colonels crossing but i still cant find any african-australians in large enough  masses. wtfbff?  we did, however, find a local bar that let us in for free because we carried american identification. the kid from canada had to pay the cover. 

On saturday we all woke up bright and early at 8am to get on a two hour bus ride down to

 hunter valley, where we visited a barrage of vineyards. Now what i find the most hilarious thing about this whole day trip is simply the 

situation of allowing 50 college students to go to these high-brow wineries and "taste" the product. When  you taste wine you are supposed to spit it back out and not drink it. oops, our bad. lets just say we lived a royally indulgent day of good food and good wine. it was a fucking riot. 

p.s. despite popular belief, wine and a golf driving range DO mix, i would know. 

Then to end my weekend, we went to the casino. first off i will have to say if you are ever in a

 situation where you are on a vacation/learning experience for an extended amount of time; 

don't even fucking bother going to the casino. It is the worst travel habit in the world and i will not be going back... for at least two weeks. jk mom! jkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjk!

Really though, pick up a heroin habit or something, gambling is bad. I did have fun though at the blackjack tables when i was up a couple hundred bucks until i had a run in with an asian woman. I kept hitting all these sweet hands, and hitting when i had 16 or 17 on the table and

 getting 3's and 4's. this one guy called me "the man with the vision", and i told him i was just buzzed. my luck was going well until this one crazy asian woman sat next to me and bet 200 on my chance at a perfect pair. she hit it, that son-of-a-bitch. now the problem here is that hitting

 a perfect pair pays out 30 to 1, so she walked away with 6000 off my hand. now in the states its customary to give a little back to the person you bet on if you won, but this lady didn't show me anything. she just won six fucking grand off me, i mean fifty bucks would have been nice.

life is good... and another good weekend passed...

i will have a video post soon!

my mom requested that hanson's "hillside manor memorial kicks" get some rep on the blog. 

thanks again mom for hooking up ryan, so we both can have the loudest shoes in athens. 

ONE LOVE

Remember how i told you about the aboriginal man who thought i was cute. just look...

such good times...

there is not muchy to say here. I still cant get his armpit smell of the shoulder of my shirt.

BFFN -- Best Friends For Now

Rugby is an insane sport. last night at the Olympic Stadium, eleven of my comrades and i witnessed a battle between The New South Wales Blues and The Queensland Reds. I really had a hell of a good time dealing with all the rowdy action up in the nose-bleeds. Rugby is the most intense and quickest fat kid fight you can watch outside of the lunchroom. But of course, as Americans, we stuck out like a boner in spandex pants. 

Our offenses:

1. American women cheering. the women in australia don't cheer like the women in america. there are no loud high pitched woos that emit from the aussie women at anytime during the match. so as you can imagine, the bellows of shrieking from our section caught come attention.

2. leaving your seat at all during game play. sure we might have gotten up for 3 to 8 beer runs during the game, but who would have ever thought that would be offensive? especially at a game that almost requires you to be wasted. i thought they were going to breathalyze us at the gate to make sure we were already into the wind. 

3. accidentally cheering for the wrong team. this one is obvious.

4. chanting U-S-A

So the next time you find yourself at one of the largest rugby matches of the year in a country other than the US; just avoid doing anything on this list. our loss is your gain.

So, now that i have earned my PH.D. in rugby, people now often ask me " yo v-club, what sport in the states would you compare rugby to ?" 

Glad you asked.  My first answer would have to be "Rugby". "Rugby" is very similar to rugby, only it has quotation marks and a capital R. My second answer would have be a game we like to call "Colonels Crossing". As you all know, Colonels Crossing is where you go to your local sporting goods store (KFC), and get a bucket of Original Recipe®. 

Now that you have the ball in hand, you need to run across the nearest area with the densest population of African-Americans (the defense). The point of the game is to get back to the safety of your dinner table (end zone) before your life and/or bucket of Original Recipe® is taken from you. At this point you will be awarded 6 points to you cholesterol level. Keep in mind this game is highly competitive and very dangerous. The defense is always willing to do whatever it takes to get their hands on that bucket... fo' free! 

I did learn one thing about australian culture last night; they live by one simple code, which can best be depicted here: Beer, sex, rugby. in that order. oi oi oi.

more south park asian humor to cheer us up

LET'S FIGHTING LOVE

Phucking Phone

Goddamn, effing iphone died in its sleep last night. it was painless yet unexpected. i plugged the godforsaken thing in then went to bed as usual, and when i woke this morning to have it make me breakfast, there was a message upon it which said "iphone needs repair". fuck. so, during lunch i went to the apple store for what i hoped would be a quick repair, but no. the australian geniuses at the genius bar acted like they have never seen an iphone before. the couldn't help me out because australia doesn't have the iphone until the end of july so they no nothing about it. it seems my only option is to send it back to the states to get it fixed. so it looks like i'm without a phone for next few weeks at best. it makes me want to kick a kangaroo right in the kisser.

on a better note...

Tonight i will be going to a rugby game however, so my aggressions of the day should be taken care of by watching "other people" in a drunken, sports driven rage. the game tonight is at the olympic stadium and this match is essentially like what our superbowl means to us. pretty exciting stuff. word to your mother cause your mother says word.